If you’re staying in a semi-decent hotel, then the chances are there is a team of maids that work their asses off. Still, despite their blood, sweat, and tears, a couple of surprising germ-infected hazards lurk in the rooms, and no amount of elbow grease will erase them.
During the Covid pandemic phase, I think we all got into the habit of washing our hands way more (goddamn “Happy Birthday” x 2) and became increasingly aware of pesky potential pathogens lurking in unsuspected places. So, despite not being a fear-monger, when I hear any top travel tips that’ll help keep you healthy—straight from the source’s mouth, so to speak—I pay them forward. Here you go.
Hotel TV remote control germs
I have a really bad oral fixation. If I’m holding something compact, it’s guaranteed that, at some point, it’ll end up in my mouth. For obvious reasons, it’s a compulsion that boyfriends have always loved. My health? Not so much. [True story: when I was eight, my tongue got stuck to the side of a giant freezer cabinet in the supermarket after I had a compulsion to lick it. What can I say? I’m a weirdo].
Fast forward to now, and the freezer thing’s been replaced with vapes, knuckle-sucking, and most other objects to hand. And you don’t have to be a weirdo like me. Even if you don’t put the thing anywhere near your mouth, just by handling the remote control, you can then pass on the fecal bugs accordingly. Enjoy those Cheetos. I’ll leave it there. I like to think I’m not alone on that one, but hey. Anyway, if it’s in your home, roll the dice, it’s your germs. But in a hotel room? Oh no. Oh no, she didn’t.
My friend Sarah worked as a maid at an upscale hotel chain during college. And they never, ever disinfect the TV remote controls. If maids clean them, it’s with the same cloth or sponge used for the rest of the room. So that plastic black oblong that I inevitably end up sucking on has more germs than the average toilet. I’ve had some shady things in my mouth over the years—enough said—but toilet seats aren’t one of them. Still, don’t just take Sarah’s word for it. A study by the University of Houston (via News.co.au) found that hotel TV remote controls (and bedside light switches) are crawling with fecal bugs. How many? Well, how about EIGHT times more than your average public toilet? I’ll leave it there.
Hotel bed cover and blanket germs
After a long and arduous journey, you finally get to your luxury hotel room. You’re knackered. You dump your suitcases and jump on the sprawling, comfy, and oh-so-inviting bed. NO! Stop right there. Rewind. Dump your suitcases, remove the bed cover or blanket, and THEN jump on. Another friend, Nicole, spent two summers working as a maid at two different up-market hotel chains, and guess what? The comforter, sheets, and pillowcases are always fragrantly clean, but the bed covers and blankets? Nope. Standard practice dictates that they’re only washed if something’s visibly been spilled on them or if they’re in a smoking (those were the days) or pet-approved room. So yeah, enjoy lounging around in God only knows how many other people’s skin cells, sweat, and sperm-sprayed leftovers. Alternatively, remove the cover or blanket.
There are other hotel maid secrets and tips, but they’ll wait. However, there is one last maid tip, which comes directly from me. Always tip the maid. Cornell University found that 70% of cheap bastards don’t, and maids are among the lowest-paid and hardest-working staff members. The remote controls and bed covers aren’t their fault, so just tip the goddamn maid (between $1-5 a night, at least).