If someone were to ask if you considered yourself a confident person, what would you say? The majority of us would probably respond with a yes, because responding with a no, would reveal a vulnerability that we’d rather keep to ourselves. But, do we really understand what it means to have true self-confidence?
It is common to think of self-confidence in terms of specific personality traits such as charisma, assertiveness, and extrovert tendencies. However, confidence is not a trait at all; instead, it is something that is cultivated and developed over time through experience and failures.
The definition of self-confidence is trusting our abilities, qualities, and judgment, which means that we feel worthy, willing, and capable regardless of how challenging a situation might be. These feelings, in turn, enable us to nurture our authenticity and adaptability – which are the hallmarks of confidence.
So, how do we cultivate confidence?
According to renowned High-Performance coach and New York Times best-selling author, Brendon Burchard, five human drives lead us towards confidence:
- 1. Exercising control over our thought processes, habits and behavior: This control encourages our engagement in positive actions, which lead to a positive state of mind.
- 2. Fostering competence: It is critical for us to consistently educate ourselves and hone our skills to function successfully and efficiently.
- 3. Maintaining congruence: Living in alignment with our ideal self and who we present to the world alleviates anxiety and reinforces the value that we hold for ourselves. Authenticity is a critical component of self-confidence.
- 4. Caring for ourselves and others: Self-care plays a crucial role in leading a healthy and bountiful life. It is essential to our well-being that we prioritize our needs, which allow us to reinvigorate our energy and be more receptive to the needs of others.
- 5. Establishing a positive connection: As humans, having positive connectivity to others is a vital component of our ability to thrive and grow as individuals. Surround yourself with others that inspire and motivate you to be your best self.
Embarking on the journey to build self-confidence, is a marathon, not a sprint. It requires us to connect with the most sensitive parts of ourselves, which we have been conditioned to keep highly guarded. But, as I have experienced through my journey, this awareness and connection has allowed me to be more honest and compassionate with myself. I have come to understand that we can figure things out, and that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength. Always remember, you got this!