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If you’re of the ilk that loves comic book type movies—Kingsman: The Golden Circle may be your next go -to movie.  Reader warning:  I am not of that ilk. 

Let’s do the movie math:  a star-studded cast (Colin Firth, Jeff Bridges, Taron Egerton, Sam Jackson, Julianne Moore, Halle Berry) plus creative cinematography plus Elton John (yes THE Elton John) plus lots of special effects and a crazy ass car chase equals—- NO STORY.  It took me 45 minutes to figure out what was going on— and when I did figure it out, I didn’t care. 

Let me summarize:  when the Kingsman (a British spy organization) lose their headquarters to a bombing, they team up with an American spy organization to thwart the world’s enemy—the drug- dealing Poppy (played delightfully by Julianne Moore—who just oozes sarcastic evil.) The film takes a few jabs at the ‘just say no’ conservatives, and there is even a president (played by Bruce Greenwood—who always seems to play a president) that made me think of that orange goat in the White House…. but I digress.

I really hope all these actors were well paid—so much wasted talent, and the whole mess cost a whopping 104 million dollars!

Written and directed by Matthew Vaughn—who wrote the first Kingsman flick in 2014—-yes this is number two—I have no words and —BTW it’s long…. 140 minutes long.

One more thing—the suits are beautiful—nothing like hot guys in suits!

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is currently in theaters.