Remember when Trump hawked “Trump Steaks,” then collectible digital trading cards depicting him as a superhero, followed by $399 gold sneakers, $100 MAGADonalds T-shirts, and even $60 ‘God Save America Editions of the bible? Stand back.
Now he has a new grift, his signature guitar line, dubbed “Trumpcaster.” Standing before an array of glittering gold-plated guitars at a press conference, Trump declared:
“No one knows guitars better than me. People are saying these might be the greatest guitars ever made. And I don’t blame them.”
The Trumpcaster, described as “the most luxurious and powerful guitar in the history of rock,” features a solid gold pickguard, a “Freedom Tremolo System,” and the option for a custom headstock emblazoned with Trump’s face giving a thumbs-up.
“It’s classy, it’s bold, it’s what rock ‘n’ roll has been missing,” said Trump, who admitted he’s never actually played a guitar but assured reporters, “I could have been the best if I wanted to. Eric Clapton? Great guy, but overrated.”
The guitars, starting at $12,999, are being marketed as a fusion of music and MAGA culture. The flagship model, the MAGAstrat, includes pickups named “Patriot” and “Freedom,” which Trump claims provide “the richest tones, like a golden melody from the heavens.” A limited-edition acoustic model, the Red, White, and Strum, comes with an American flag pattern that doubles as a map to nearby Trump-branded golf courses.
Music enthusiasts have been quick to weigh in. Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters called the guitar “a weirdly heavy nightmare, but surprisingly loud.” Meanwhile, Ted Nugent endorsed it enthusiastically, claiming it made him “feel like a patriot on fire.”
“Best Guitar Since Hendrix,” Says Trump.
During the press conference, Trump attempted to demonstrate the guitar’s capabilities. After a few fumbling attempts at a power chord, he turned to a roadie and said, “Look, I’d shred better if I weren’t so busy making America great again. But people are saying it already sounds incredible.”
Asked why he chose guitars, Trump replied, “Music brings people together. And frankly, nobody brings people together like I do. Plus, Biden doesn’t even play an instrument. Sad!”